Archive for ◊ September, 2008 ◊

18 Sep 2008 Internet has arrvied!
 |  Category: Adventures in Translation  | Tags:  | Leave a Comment

Also on Terran’s list of “things not to do when you don’t know the language”: trying to get internet connected in your short-term apartment.  Woo.

The details are long and involved, but the key steps involved lots of three-way conversations between people who marginally spoke each others’ languages.  Lots of stuff like “Tiene de internet?  ADSL?” followed by lots of nods, head shakes, and looking confused.

The breakthrough was to get our incredibly helpful apartment agent involved, who speaks both Spanish and English fluently.  He got on the line to Telefonica (local telco/ISP) and made the order concrete.  Then lots of waiting for us.  Then phone conversations with Telefonica representatives that went approximately like:

Them: “Hola! ??? ??? ??? Telefonica ??? ??? ??? Internet ??? ??? ???”

Me: “Er.  Lo siente — no hablo espanole.  Internet?”

Them: “Er.  Si.  Internet.  ??? ??? ???”

Me:  “Er.  Que hora?”

Them: “[sigh]  Hoy, de 4:00 a 6:00.”

Me: “Ah! Si! Muy bien.”

Having thus exhausted my Spanish conversational ability, we both gave up. But the important bits were conveyed. In the end, they called back to reschedule for the next day (i.e., today). And then the actual installer called this morning. All of these conversations were accompanied by much confusion on both ends, but in the end, it all worked out.

So early this afternoon, an incredibly helpful Telefonica representative showed up to do the actual install.  His 4 words of English nicely complemented my 4 words of Spanish, but working together we got it all sorted.  He seemed to be kind-of amused by the whole thing, and with lots of hand gestures, he got everything straightened out and even conveyed “Hey, don’t try to actually get on the ‘net yet.  The WiFi router is booted and you can talk to it, but that doesn’t mean that you actually have internet.  The line to the central switch at HQ hasn’t been activated yet.  It should be live in 30 min-1 hour.  If it’s not, give me a call.  Here’s my cell phone number.”  (I’m filling in some stuff that I inferred, but that’s the gist of it.)

It’s amazing what you can muddle through when both parties are trying and are willing to take it all with a grain of salt and a bit of humor.  And, as always, I am touched by how many of the locals are very cheerfully willing to help overcome the communication barrier.

So in the end, the good news is that we now have decent (read: unmetered!) internet access in our apartment.  That’s a huge relief.  Now we should be able to communicate with family and friends a little bit more smoothly!

16 Sep 2008 Buenos dias desde Madrid!
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Hello to friends, family, and colleagues!

As many of you know, I’m on sabbatical for the 2008-2009 academic year.  I’m spending the time visiting colleagues and meeting new people in Madrid and London.  Consequently, Susan and I are spending nearly a year on the road.

We’re starting a blog to help stay in touch with all of you and to document some of what we see and do in our time abroad.  We’ll probably throw in some other random thoughts as well, and maybe some historical travel information (like our recent Grand Canyon trip).

Hope that you’ll all find it interesting enough to track and follow along.

See ya!

P.S.  The blog starts here, but we’re going to be adding some backdated posts for stuff that transpired before we got the blog running.

15 Sep 2008 Mission accomplished: Cats retrieved!

Whee!  The cats are here and safe!  [whoo] Time to collapse in exhaustion.

Another item for “Terran’s list of experiences that you can feel free to die without having tried”: Picking up animals from air cargo in a foreign country when you (a) don’t have a car, (b) don’t know where you’re going, and (c) don’t speak the language and can communicate, essentially, only with gestures and grunts.

It all has a happy ending, and we managed to hold on to confidence along the way, but it had a pile o’ stress along the way.  Here’s the full story:

  • Tried to make arrangements to ship cats back in July.  Was told by Delta’s air cargo division that you can only make reservations 13 days in advance.  Okaaay.
  • Spent months trying to figure out the byzantine set of regulations about which forms, tests, immunizations, instruments, etc. we needed for cats.  It seems to be a deliberate bureaucratic maze.  Gory details of that best left for another post (or for late night horror shows).
  • Sep 2: called Delta air cargo to try to make appt to ship cats.  Chick on the line: “You’re flying tomorrow?  Aren’t you a little last second?”  Me, annoyed: “Well…  You guys said that I couldn’t reserve more than 13 days in advance.  That’s what I’m doing.”  Her: “Oh, you don’t want them to go with you?”  Me, really annoyed: “[sigh]  No.”  Her: “Ok, I’ll have a specialist call you.”  No callback.  Great.
  • Sep 3: Flew to Spain.  Life descended into chaos.
  • Sep 10: Wrote to Delta air cargo to make reservations for cats.  Got world’s stupidest drone on the other end.  Typical email exchange: Me: “I have a few questions: (1) … (2) … (3) … (4) … (5) …”  Her: Answers 1/2 of (3), incorrectly.  Great.  Eventually, all things were sorted by the intervention of a great friend and savior in ABQ who was able to do a lot of footwork for us.
  • Sep 13: Cats flew.  We end up paying $150 more than we expected to for this service because of mistakes/cluelessness of world’s stupidest drone.  (See above.)
  • Sep 14: Cats cooled heels in Atlanta airport animal hostel because of scheduling mistake by world’s stupidest drone.  (See above.)
  • Sep 15, 7:30 AM: We leave for airport to pick up cats.  Now at this point, we’re really not sure where to look for them.  All we know is that they’re being shipped by Delta cargo and are probably going to arrive at the Barajas (Madrid airport) air cargo section.  But we have no idea where that is.  (Why not?  Because the world’s stupidest drone at Delta air cargo can’t figure out where her local bathroom is with a compass and a scout team, much less work out where a cargo facility at an airport halfway around the world is.  See above.)  With us, we carry all possible paperwork, our Spanish/English dictionary, Madrid map, and two backpacks.
  • “, 8:15: We arrive at Barajas Terminal 2 (where Metro drops off) and start looking for Delta service desk.
  • “, 8:30: We find Delta at the other end of Terminal 1.  This is like 1km away.  People think that the Denver airport is long and linear, but they haven’t been to Barajas.
  • “, 8:45: Having worked through communication with a Delta representative, we discover what we suspected: that the cats will not show up at normal baggage.  To our surprise, they will also not show up at the airport customs.  We have to go find “SWF” air cargo, who (apparently) handles the cargo for Delta.  Where are they?  She doesn’t know.  Suggests we go get a taxi.  She thinks it’s close.  We go look for a taxi.  But at least she can confirm that the cats are on that flight, which is a huge relief.
  • “, 9:00:  We try to get a taxi driver to take us to air cargo.  He doesn’t want the fare and waves his hands in the general direction of the end of Terminal 1 saying, as far as we could tell, “Just walk that way.  It’s not far.”  He says something like “25 meters”, but we can’t figure out what the heck he means — the end of the airport is clearly much further than that.  We’re confused and worried, but start walking.
  • “, 9:00 AM: Cats are landing at Barajas just about now.
  • “, 9:10: We discover why taxi driver didn’t want our fare, as we run across the world’s longest taxi line.  No, really.  There may be longer taxi lines in, like, Hong Kong or something, but this is the longest either of us had ever seen.  It goes past the end of T1, past the on-ramp into the airport, down the next street, and up another on-ramp.  Then it curves out of sight.  We have no idea how long it really was.  Just the part we saw might well have been 1/2 a mile.  Maybe more.  I can understand why the taxi driver didn’t want to have to move to the back of that monster queue for our pissant fare.  It probably wouldn’t have even paid for his gas to sit in line.  Still, we’re high and dry.
  • “, 9:30: We escape the bounds of the passenger side of the airport and get lost in a parking structure. An incredibly helpful passer by gets us pointed in the right direction.  We share no common language, but she was amazingly patient and sweet and, once I had conveyed “air cargo”, she got us out of the parking garage and pointed toward a tall glass and steel building in the distance.  I think she also kept us from getting hauled off by security guards — when we showed up, she looked moderately panicked and pointed to her security badge and kept saying something along the lines of “secured area”.  Eeep.  But at least we have a goal.  We keep walking.
  • “, 9:45: We reach the concrete and steel building.  It looks like more nearly the right place, as it says something about cargo on the outside.  But it also looks more like an office building than a shipping facility.  Worried and confused, but having no other clues, we go inside.
  • “, 9:45: We show our hand-written note saying “Delta Cargo, SWF, DL108, 2 gatos” to the security guard.  He scratches his head at our abysmal attempts at Spanish and then says, “Delta”.  We nod, and he points us to the right wing of the building.  We navigate through the security desk in that wing, where the guard points us to the 8th floor.  Confused (pattern here?), we head up the elevators.
  • “, 9:50: We find the indicated office.  It does say “Delta Cargo”, but it is solidly closed and unoccupied.  It’s also clearly an office and nothing resembling cargo.  Worried, now, we go back downstairs.
  • “, 10:00: We wander around confused.
  • “, 10:10: More wandering.
  • “, 10:15: We find a place on the ground floor that has a sign indicating customs and agricultural inspection.  This looks more promising.  The security guard for this wing looks at our handwritten note and shakes her head.  Not here.  Gah!  But she turns out to be yet another of the angels of this quest.  She drags us outside and points around the end of the building and says, as far as we can tell, “That way, beyond Correos”.  We head off again.
  • “, 10:25: Victory!  That way, beyond the Carreos (Spanish postal system) cargo building, we find the WFS cargo building. This is very clearly a cargo facility.  And it has (a permutation of) the right letters on it.  This looks way more promising.
  • “, 10:30: We talk to the clerk at the desk inside WFS.  Me (broken Spanish): “Nosortos estamos aqui por dos gatos.” (We are here for two cats.  I think.)  Her: “Si!  Dos gatos.  Terran y Susan Lane?”  Woohah!  Victory!  Happy dance!  We have actually found somebody who acknowledges the existence of our cats!  And she has paperwork and everything.  Holy shit.  There may actually be an end to this.  Better yet, our long-suffering cats will not sit endlessly in a cargo crate somewhere in the Twilight Zone until they starve to death or drown in their own hairballs.
  • “, 10:30-11:00:  The amazing, wonderful, and English-speaking clerk walks us through the paperwork.  She also charges us €68 additional, which is yet another unlooked-for expense.  At this point, though, we’re delighted to pay it.  She has our cats!  Woot!  She describes the sequence of convolutions we need to do next.
  • “, 11:05: We go back to the concrete/steel office building, in search of the official veterinarian with the Ministry of Agriculture’s office.  But at least now, thanks to the wonderful WFS clerk, we know who we’re looking for.  Unfortunately, we don’t quite know where to find said vet, though we do know to look near customs.
  • “, 11:10: We wander into customs trying to find the vet.  A confused customs officer, who speaks a reasonable amount of English, goes to find someone who speaks only Spanish to give us directions.  We get sorted out that we need to be one floor up (on the left).  Out and back and into the left wing, now, muddling our way past that security guard.
  • “, 11:15: Another unbelievably helpful person in the Ministry of Agriculture office speaks far more English than we do Spanish and takes our forms and gets the process rolling.  Apparently, she’ll send the vet over to look at our cats, the vet will check all the forms, and then will produce a letter for us.  We’ll take the letter to be stamped by customs and then take it back to WFS, who will then give us our cats.  Theoretically.  [whew]  She riffles through our forms for a sanity check, and it becomes clear that we have way more paperwork than we actually need.  (Refer to “world’s stupidest drone”, above.)  She tells us that this will take an hour, so we should chill and get some coffee or something.
  • “, 11:20: We find the cafeteria downstairs and get some (guess what?  Ham sandwiches!) to fill the hollow from long-ago breakfast.  We try not to dwell on the possibility that the Ebon Menace will rip the vet’s pituitary gland out (*) and the vet will ship him back to the US or to Myanmar or something.
  • “, 11:20-12:20: Time passes.
  • “, 12:20: We return to the MiniAg office.  Nobody there.
  • “, 12:20-12:40: Time passes.
  • “, 12:40: The vet returns, as does the helpful administrator who can translate for us.  Everybody passed.  We can have our cats.  Woohah!  The vet does make some rueful remarks about “Sebastian” to the administrator.  But he shows no signs of blood or missing organs, so apparently Ebon didn’t give him an unduly hard time.  Not so much that he won’t let us have them, anyway.
  • “, 12:45: Back downstairs to customs.  The clerk there has her trainee that she walks through every step of how to stamp our vet letter.  She goes through our paperwork 3 times (we panic, quietly, afraid that we’re missing the green form with purple dots or something) before stamping it.
  • “, 12:55: Back to WFS, letter in hand.  The wonderful clerk there reviews it, then gives us a form to give to [somebody we can't figure out].  When she figures out that we’re clueless, she takes us in hand and hauls us out to their warehouse, where she drops the form on one of the forklift drivers.  Then she motions to us and, in two-year-old-ese, tells us to “stay right here”.  We stay.
  • “, 12:55-1:00: Time passes.  We are anxious.
  • “, 1:00: They bring the cats out on a forklift.  WTF?  Mist hasn’t been overeating that badly.  Whatever.  We have our cats!  We sign for them and haul them back into the entrance hall, where the “baby and small furry creatures effect” hits and a gaggle of office staff cluster around to baby-coo at the cats (in Spanish baby-coos).  A woman sticks her finger in Sebastian’s cage, in spite of the prominent, bright yellow sign that says “AFRAID OF STRANGERS!” (in two languages), and we have to quickly intercede to preserve her structural integrity.  (Why do people think that this is a good idea?   Trying to pet a creature you know nothing about, who has been in travel for 36 hours, and who is in a strange situation they don’t understand.  I would maim someone who tried to pet me at that point.)
  • “, 1:10: We escape from WFS, cats in tow.  Another lovely administrator gets us pointed to the local shuttle bus back to the airport.  Yay!  We were not looking forward to hauling two cats+carriers+junk back 1.5 miles or whatever to the Metro.  While we cool heels, waiting for bus, we examine the ball of packing tape stuck to each cat carrier.  It appears that all of the Cat Stuff that our ABQ friend provided for the cats (food, gooshyfood, microchip scanner, etc.)  was summarily scrunched up into a mass of tape and stuck to the carriers.  Nobody opened them as far as we could tell.  If the cats were fed while in transit, we have no idea what.  And it’s clear that the scanner, that we were warned in capital letters that we needed to have, was never used.  [sigh]
  • “, 1:20: Back to airport.  Wend our way back to Metro.  Those luggage carts come in really handy when you’re overwhelmed by felines.
  • “, 2:00: Survived metro.  Cats, amazingly, do not spaz out in the crowds, up and down escalators, on trains, etc.  [whew]
  • “, 2:00-2:15: Trek back from metro to our apartment.
  • “, 2:15: WE’RE HOME!  [whew]  The cats are almost as exhausted as we are (or maybe the other way around).  But it’s clear that we’re all happy to be here.  We all fall over, semi-comatose for a while.

Final assessment: ~2:30 hours of raw transit time.  ~2 hours of unavoidable bureaucracy time.  ~2:30 of “not speaking language, being clueless, or being misdirected by helpful, but clueless people” time.  ~$480 of unexepected or unnecessary expenses.  (Not counting an unknown number of redundant or unnecessary visits to the vet or unnecessary paperwork.)  [sigh]  But, in the end, we’re here.  They’re here.  They’re happy to see us.  We’re delighted to see them.  Life is good.

And, once again, the people of Madrid are, by and large, wonderfully helpful people who that a stunning amount of sympathy and helpfulness for clueless foreigners.  We are amazed by how many people were so helpful to us and went way above-and-beyond to overcome the communication barrier.  We are grateful.

(*) Spleens being overused in hyperbolic humor.

14 Sep 2008 La Noche en Blanco
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Or, “The Night in White,” which sounds less goofy in Spanish because it doesn’t rhyme.

Saturday night, we really went out on a limb and went to see a modern dance performance that was being offered for free as part of La Noche en Blanco, a massive evening of free art events being done as part of some kind of international European art-awareness movement. It was a real hassle to figure out from the all-Spanish promotional material what was going on when, and we initially went to the wrong place. But we were able to figure it out. The performance, which was done in a stadium parking lot, was pretty cool. I do have a couple of pictures of that, though they’re rather dim b/c it was nighttime.

The dance group literally did a series of ballet-style sketches while standing perpendicular to the wall of transport containers, treating the wall as the floor.  They were suspended from what looked like serious mountain-climbers gear.

We got there very early becuse we were afraid of getting lost again, so we ended up with very good places to watch.  It felt good to have actually figured out one-time event in the city like this and to really get to see it.

The next afternoon, while walking to the Thyssen Museum, we passed another leftover exhibit from La Noche en Blanco:

Rubber duckies in the plaza fountain!

Rubber duckies in the plaza fountain!

14 Sep 2008 The Royal Palace, the Thyssen Museum, and remembering to be flexible
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This weekend was an exercise in being flexible. We planned to take the train to the town of Segovia for some hard-core sight-seeing. We got up early and made it to the train station, only to find that all the information we’d found online was wrong and that the train schedule was such that we wouldn’t get enough time there to make the trip worthwhile. The computer kiosk allowed us to buy a ticket for next week, but it only accepted exact change. WTF? Generating change for cash automatically is a solved problem. Two round-trip tickets were 21.40 euros. We had 21.*50* and ended up having to buy pastries at a pastry shop and beg for our change in 20-cent coins. At least the pastries were very good.

So we hit the Royal Palace on Saturday afternoon.

The Palacio Real Plaza

The Palacio Real Plaza

The Royal Palace was sort of like touring the White House — a lot of the rooms are still in use for state functions. Most of the decorating, though far more extreme than anything you’d find in the White House, dated from 1790 and later. But the highlight was the armory, which contained an absolutely amazing collection of armor and weaponry mostly dating from 1490-1590. A lot of it was mocked up on horse and human models so that you could better see how it was used. Most of it was ceremonial or jousting armor, since I don’t think there was much warfare going on with that sort of stuff in the 16th century.

View from above the armory

View from above the armory

A second highlight for me was in the Queen’s collection, where they have on display the only surviving matched Stradivarius string quartet in the world.  I saw my first Strad viola!  Be still my beating heart.  We asked a roving tour guide if they ever get played, and she said they have a concert at least once a year.  Sigh.

And of course, they wouldn’t let me take any pictures :-p.

EDIT: So, our friend Tanner was able to get pictures of the Strads when HE was there.  I’m posting HIS.  Notice how intricately they’re decorated.  I’ve never seen that that either.

Stradivarius cello

Stradivarius cello

Stradivarious violin

Stradivarious violin

Sunday was the Thyssen art museum, which was the most fun I’ve ever had in an art museum except that they’d closed an entire wing of modern artists for renovation that I’d been looking forward to seeing all day. So, no Dali and Surrealists for me. Why is it that art museums are so rude about stuff like that? Terran relates that he hit an art museum in France while on vacation where the entire collection he’d gone there to see was traveling. It seems like common courtesy to post something when you enter the museum, “We’re sorry for the inconvenience, but Blah wing, containing artists Foo, Bar, and the entire Stupidist Movement is currently closed for renovation.” That way, if you were coming to the museum primarily to see this stuff, you know before you buy a ticket. And at the very least, you’re spared the disappointment when you go to see it.
[Stupidism, btw, is Studentbane's term for Dadaists and Postmodernists pushed the boundaries of "What is art" so far that they ended up hanging toilets on the wall or painting entire canvasses one color and calling it art. He's building a whole Monty Python-style routine: "Here you see a prime example of the Stupidist Movement. The can of Campbell's soup signifies the painters lust for food...." This will make you fall on the floor laughing after four hours looking at paintings.]

At any rate, the Thyssen museum is a formerly private art collection assembled by some powerful family (duh, the Thyssens) over a couple of hundred years. The museum is arranged to take you through the art movements approximately chronologically. A lot of the art by well-known modern artists like the Impressionists, Post-Impressionists, Cubists, etc. are stuff that hasn’t been snatched up by museums before now. So most art by household-name artists were the kind that was NOT representative of their famous works. A half-dozen Pissaro, none of which were Pointilist. Landscapes by Renoir. Almost a room filled with beautiful Impressionist paintings by Gauguin (Gauguin visited Haiti at some point in his career and devoted the rest of his life to painting misshapen Haitians — until seeing this stuff, I thought I hated everything he’d ever done).

Next weekend, we really will go to Segovia, barring any more mishaps with the train.

06 Sep 2008 We are here! We are here!
 |  Category: Mirror World  | One Comment

Cried all the Whos in Whoville

So, we´re here, and we´re not dead. But we ARE using Internet kiosks to communicate. Fortunately, they´re WAY cheaper than their equivalents in the US.

Getting here and closing on the apartment was an adventure, but it ended well. I had all sorts of nightmares about worst case scenarios when we got here because there were so many unknowns. The biggest ones were that the apartment agent we were working with might turn out to be dishonest and we would either not have an apartment or have an unlivable one. Mercifully, none of that came to pass. The apartment is very small, but that´s exactly what we signed up for. Since apartment prices are very expensive here (thought not as bad as they will be in London) and we weren´t even sure we´d have any rent income for the house when we put a deposit down, we opted to go for as low a rent as we could get while still being in a convenient location where we could live without a car. That meant the apartment would be very small.

So, size aside, it´s a nice, ground floor apartment that looks out over the courtyard. Most Spanish apartment buildings are built around a courtyard, so you have a choice of street facing or courtyard facing. Courtyard facing is much quieter, and that´s a big deal when you have a city apartment in a city that REALLY never sleeps. The courtyard view really makes the place feel Spanish. The kitchen and bathroom look to have been updated recently. Everything works well. The bed is comfy. I´ve adjusted surprisingly quickly to the time change, and I´m sleeping really well.

The flight over was incredibly relaxing. Business class on American Airlines was even fancier than Terran remembered from being bumped to business on KLM once. We felt like we were in the lap of luxury. But when we hit the ground in Madrid, we hit more “adventures”. The airline lost our luggage. We met up with the driver that the apartment agent had sent an hour late after filing a claim with American Airlines. He got lost on the way to the apartment and seemed to be very confused about the fact that we needed to stop at a bank to get our traveler´s checks exchanged for cash. Then exchanging the traveler´s checks turned out to be a nightmare. Almost no banks would deal with us because we were not customers. Terran´s dealt with traveler´s checks in a few countries on business travel before, and he´d always been able to walk into the first bank he saw to exchange them. Not so here. Eventually, the apartment agent had to intervene and found us a place that would cash them out. THEN we were able to close on the apartment. It made for an even more stressful first day than we expected, and I personally had expected the first day to be an ordeal.

Oh, and our luggage was delivered midmorning the next day. It actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise, since otherwise we´d´ve had to manage it while we ran from bank to bank, trying to get cash.

So, really, the only outstanding problem is that Internet wasn´t hooked up in the apartment after all. There´s always one thing that you should have followed up on one more time. I´d actually intended to double check this with the agent before we left, but it fell into the small handful of things we just couldn´t get done. When the apartment agent and I negotiated this place, I told him that I absolutely had to have broadband internet in the apartment for my job. He replied that it came with the apartment and quoted me a price. It sounded so smooth and he´d been so helpful that I assumed that was true. Apparently, a lot more actually has to be done to hook up Internet, and that was one the one thing in everything we negotiated that he forgot to do. This puts us in a weird emotional place. This guy has been absolutely wonderful in all other areas, but I´m burning leave time right now, and I can´t even file a timesheet to get the leave time without being able to connect to the internet from my own computer. We´re talking to the agent about using his cell phone internet as a stopgap, and we plan to hold it hostage until the Internet is dealt with. Watch this space for more information.

Other tidbits — almost nobody in this area speaks English at all. We didn´t expect everyone to speak English, but Terran´s associate at Universidad Polytechnica assured him that our ignorance of Spanish was no issue at all. He said he had a grad student who had been here two years and had never bothered to learn a word of Spanish. That matched our experience in Germany, and France is legendary for answering in English if you try to speak in French. So we figured we´d sign up for Spanish as a Second Language classes here. Well… apparently there are lots of English speakers SOMEWHERE in Madrid, but we´ve been lucky to find a single bank teller and one person in an electronics store who could speak enough English to take our money. Plus the apartment agent, who is British and has been invaluable as a translator. So communication has been a real adventure.

On the bright side, we ran into a young woman in the electronics store who spoke English — very quickly your ears perk up whenever you hear it. She is here for a post-undergrad exchange program. When we struck up a conversation, she said, “They told me everyone spoke English here! This has been really intimidating!” It was like finding a kindred spirit, and we immediately exchanged contact info. So maybe we´ll have a little bit of social contact after all.

I think that´s everything for now. Hopefully, I´ll be posting next from the comfort of our apartment. The city itself is delightful. We´ve been having a wonderful time exploring. Tomorrow (Sunday), we plan to go to the Prado art museum, supposedly one of the premier art museums in the world. Admission is free on Sunday! Heh.